Sometimes words give your heart wings and it floats. Sometimes words hit you so hard you feel like the impact they leave is so deep it should never heal.
I have documentarophilia. Don’t try to look it up it’s not in DSM-5, I’m working balls hard to get it in 6th though. I watch a lot of documentaries; a lot is an understatement. I am thirsty, hungry–and voyeuristically there is no better way to fulfill the desire to know more then to see it. I like going places but having social anxiety means that talking to people is difficult. Documentaries gives me the benefit of someone else’s research and work. I can learn a dilettante’s wealth of knowledge in a short term and then branch out from there. It’s like taste testing topics of interest–the ones that really appeal to me I can learn more about: more documentaries, books, online classes, and depending on location, travel. The things that don’t appeal I can put on mental dump or watch a couple more documentaries to see if it was “them” or “me”. The world is really a beautiful and wonderful place. People, even though large groups scare me, are fascinating. History and time is so transient, given to shifting perspective and the whim of the powerful, it’s a personal imperative of mine to gain as much knowledge as I can before I am also lost to the whims and shifts of history.
Acquiring knowledge is something I feel everyone should undertake. Your ability to learn and understand is your gift to yourself. It is the one thing that regardless of where you are and who you are, you can work for yourself. Knowledge isn’t always secrets and power. Knowing that means you understand the world is relative and not just black and white.
